Today I was changing Obsidian's diaper. A couple months ago, he had no awareness or control. Now he does, and he could be toilet trained. Except for the fact he does not want to. If you try to sit him on the potty, typically he will pee on your leg. On purpose. Punishing him for that is only limitedly useful as it has stopped the peeing on the leg, but he won't pee on the potty. He will either grab a diaper and hold it in front of him and pee or simply wait until a new diaper is put on.
As I was changing his diaper, I asked if he wanted to go to the potty. He hesitated and got a glint in his eye. I was not sure what was coming next but I knew it wouldn't be an agreement to pee in or sit on the potty. I thought of preemptively telling him to not make a smart alec remark. It ran though my head how if I said that prior to any comment being made, I would then be my father. Who so frequently when I was a child, and a teenager, and to be honest up until when he passed away when I was an adult, would just tell me "Don't be a smart alec" just prior to when I was going to make a "smart alec" remark. At the same time, I was wondering what was about to come out of Obsidian's mouth. My dad admitted when I was an adult, sometimes he would just let me go because he was curious to what I was going to say. I decided I wanted to hear what he was about to say so I didn't cut him off.
"You take me to Grandpa's house and I will go potty there." A glint in his eye.
"You mean Grandma's house?" While my mom lives in the same house she did when my dad was alive, Obsidian doesn't think of it as "Grandpa's house". Pyrope and Obsidian are familiar with stories of both of their grandpas, but never met either of them.
"No. Grandpa. You take me see Grandpa, I go pee potty." Triumph in his eye as he marched away with his new diaper on. Briefly looking over his shoulder as I was still sitting on the floor contemplating the comment.
So while the thoughts of my dad having to deal with my "smart" comments in the flash before I knew I was going to have deal with a "smart" comment coming from my child, I couldn't help but think that my dad was watching, laughing in his deep belly laugh, and commenting how revenge is sweet. A child that takes after me. For the most part, my dad got the brunt of my "smart" remarks. It has already become clear, that Obsidian directs the majority of his "smart" remarks at me, not Jet. Jet gets some, but not nearly as much as I do, even when you consider how much more time I spend with Obsidian.
God give me the grace and strength that he gave my dad to deal with me. He knows I need it. (Yes, my mother was involved, very involved, but she never quite knew how to react to things like this. Plain flat out misbehavior she was fine with. Me with my comments that I shouldn't have said but were really appropriate, not so much. So that I always had to deal with my dad. His reactions were always "reasonable" to me, my mom would react so wildly different that it was fairly rare that I would make such comments to her, even by the time I was 4 or 5). The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
New Year
From the time I was a child, I always associated late summer, as in the end of August or early September with being a "new year". More so than January. Even in the intervening years that I was not in school or working in a school, I still thought of it as that way. Last year, with Pyrope starting preschool, I returned to that thought pattern in complete earnest. This year with him being in kindergarten, the feeling is back full force. And I've come to the conclusion, it most likely will remain so for the next 20 years or so. At which point I'll be in my 50's, and all but 8 years or so will have been marked by the beginning of school.
This year I've really been thinking about stuff. Material stuff. Mainly the fact I have too much of it. My kids have too much of it. Less is better. As I think about specific things, for the most part, I really come to the conclusion I don't need it. And in many cases I really don't want it or think it makes my life happier or better in any manner. Now to purge my belongings. And my kids. That will be the tougher part.
Relationships. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about how I value them. Which ones I want to work harder on. Which ones I want to "maintain". Which ones I want to spend less time on. I've thought about the natural cycles where people and my relationship with them goes through.
My "professional" goals. My monetarily compensated job makes me set new "professional" (i.e. it relations to my job) goals. These are made each spring. This year, it has been decided that we have to look at them semi-annual. This took me by surprise as I was called into my boss' office. I was then asked what I was specifically doing to reach my goal. I've never been asked that either. Um, nothing. I was then told I have to do something to move towards my goal. Which I will because it is part of my job. But as I was thinking about this, I decided, I really don't care. My "professional" goal(s) at this point is to go to work, fulfill my job description, go home, and get paid. I don't care to advance. I don't particularly care to do anything different than what I'm doing. At this point of my life, I prefer to dedicate my time and energy to my "home" jobs.
This lead me to thinking about time, and how I spend it. I've decided I need to spend less time on the computer doing pointless things. I've decided I really don't understand people who spend a lot of time watching TV, or really even movies. I can't tell you the last time I watched a TV show. Other than sitting down and watching something with the boys, I can't even say the last movie I watched. And I don't miss it. I've decided I do need to spend more time doing cleaning/housework. I've come to the realization I spend a lot of time, and I mean a lot doing schoolwork with Pyrope and physical to build strength, endurance, balance, and vestibular skills with Obsidian. I've come to the conclusion that for the next number of years, these activities will be a major part of how I spend my time. I think about how much time I spend on dealing with health care issues. And that just makes me angry. Not physically dealing with, learning about, developing treatments for the issues (mainly mine and Obsidian's, but also Pyrope), but with health insurance carriers, doctor's offices, billing departments, pharmacies, human resources, exc. for getting the services/medications that are needed and the correct billing to the correct payor for each item. I see no end in sight for this use of my time. I wish I had more time to read. Overall, I've read more this year than I have since Pyrope was a baby, but I would still love to read more. I don't particularly have a list of books that I want to read, but I just love to read and wish I did it more.
My temper. As a child, it was very short. I consciously worked on it. Slowly over the past year, my temper has got out of check and I find myself yelling more. Just being aware of how much I yell, and verbally show my frustration, and show it in other ways, I've decided I need to reign in. I know that when I'm not flying off the handle as much, as a general rule, my stress levels go down as well. I'm not one for really bottling up until things blow up, but I do best if I stop and think before I act or speak. Particularly when I'm stressed, upset, or angry.
So here is to a new year. I'm hoping for a good one.
This year I've really been thinking about stuff. Material stuff. Mainly the fact I have too much of it. My kids have too much of it. Less is better. As I think about specific things, for the most part, I really come to the conclusion I don't need it. And in many cases I really don't want it or think it makes my life happier or better in any manner. Now to purge my belongings. And my kids. That will be the tougher part.
Relationships. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about how I value them. Which ones I want to work harder on. Which ones I want to "maintain". Which ones I want to spend less time on. I've thought about the natural cycles where people and my relationship with them goes through.
My "professional" goals. My monetarily compensated job makes me set new "professional" (i.e. it relations to my job) goals. These are made each spring. This year, it has been decided that we have to look at them semi-annual. This took me by surprise as I was called into my boss' office. I was then asked what I was specifically doing to reach my goal. I've never been asked that either. Um, nothing. I was then told I have to do something to move towards my goal. Which I will because it is part of my job. But as I was thinking about this, I decided, I really don't care. My "professional" goal(s) at this point is to go to work, fulfill my job description, go home, and get paid. I don't care to advance. I don't particularly care to do anything different than what I'm doing. At this point of my life, I prefer to dedicate my time and energy to my "home" jobs.
This lead me to thinking about time, and how I spend it. I've decided I need to spend less time on the computer doing pointless things. I've decided I really don't understand people who spend a lot of time watching TV, or really even movies. I can't tell you the last time I watched a TV show. Other than sitting down and watching something with the boys, I can't even say the last movie I watched. And I don't miss it. I've decided I do need to spend more time doing cleaning/housework. I've come to the realization I spend a lot of time, and I mean a lot doing schoolwork with Pyrope and physical to build strength, endurance, balance, and vestibular skills with Obsidian. I've come to the conclusion that for the next number of years, these activities will be a major part of how I spend my time. I think about how much time I spend on dealing with health care issues. And that just makes me angry. Not physically dealing with, learning about, developing treatments for the issues (mainly mine and Obsidian's, but also Pyrope), but with health insurance carriers, doctor's offices, billing departments, pharmacies, human resources, exc. for getting the services/medications that are needed and the correct billing to the correct payor for each item. I see no end in sight for this use of my time. I wish I had more time to read. Overall, I've read more this year than I have since Pyrope was a baby, but I would still love to read more. I don't particularly have a list of books that I want to read, but I just love to read and wish I did it more.
My temper. As a child, it was very short. I consciously worked on it. Slowly over the past year, my temper has got out of check and I find myself yelling more. Just being aware of how much I yell, and verbally show my frustration, and show it in other ways, I've decided I need to reign in. I know that when I'm not flying off the handle as much, as a general rule, my stress levels go down as well. I'm not one for really bottling up until things blow up, but I do best if I stop and think before I act or speak. Particularly when I'm stressed, upset, or angry.
So here is to a new year. I'm hoping for a good one.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Just everything
Somehow, 'everything' seems to be happening this summer.
Most of the things in isolation would cause me some stress but not knock me down.
However, I feel knocked down. Or ready to be knocked down. But I'm stubborn. Very stubborn and I keep going. As I've burst into tears a couple times in the last few week with "I don't want to do this anymore" as I'm talking with my best friend, I know that I will. She knows that I will. I just don't like it.
Pyrope has started kindergarten. He is not particularly enjoying it. His best friend is in his class, which he likes. However, he has informed me on several occasions it is easier for him to learn when I teach him at home. There is too much noise at school. While I agree that I can teach him more academically at home, I saw a very significant decrease in his social and verbal skills since he has been out of school since May. On top of this, he will neither live, go to school, or eventually work in a bubble. He has to learn how to function in the "real world". Academically, he can learn virtually nothing this year, and he will still "pass" kindergarten, as his reading and math skills test at least at a 1st grade level, in some areas a 2nd grade level. So on we will go. With lots of communication to the teacher. I will continue to work on reading, writing, and math at home. He will go to school, communicate with others, socialize, and try to learn how to learn while there.
Obsidian was taken off of growth hormone in July. It wasn't working. The blood tests proved it was not working. His growth velocity had not changed. There is a different hormone, IGF-1, he is now on. Getting it approved of by the insurance is being a chore. My main problem right now is with his doctor. If I could switch doctors I would. Problem being, I can't (practically). The pharmaceutical company that makes it is supplying him (for up to 8 months) with the medication while we are trying to get it approved by insurance. He has been on it for slightly less than 3 weeks. By my measurements (and they have always been accurate in the past), he has grown more in the 3 weeks he has been on IGF-1 than the 6 months he was on GHT (2.6 cm vs 1.9). I'm hoping I'm measuring correctly. I'm hoping (and trying my best) to make sure he can continue on the drug. At this point, I'm not really looking for answers for Obsidian and his medical issues, but just looking for the best treatments I can find. If there is a way to increase his growth rate so he is a typical (or closer to it) height as an adult, it would be great. If a way is not found, I just need to focus on teaching him how to function in a world that is made for adults that are above 5', when he will most likely be right around 4'. I really hope this does give his body what he needs to grow to his genetic potential (which is most likely somewhere in the 5'8" to 5'11" range based on family history).
My work is work. My boss that I like has been moved to a different facility. The one that I have never got along with is it. She is a nice person, but somewhat lacking in managerial skills that would be beneficial to her job.
Jet's job has degraded to the point he updated his resume. This is a large step for him. Finding a job won't be an issue, he just doesn't like change. So he drags his feet when it is time to change. He really has not seriously began to look, apply, or interview. Hopefully the day is coming sooner now. I would have long been gone, for various reasons.
Jet and I have been arguing. I really keep getting the feeling he doesn't see or get my point. Sometimes I think he is trying to taunt me by his actions, but when I stop and really think, I don't feel he is purposely taunting me per se, he just doesn't get what my issue is. No matter how I explain it, or try to have others help me explain it. I'm tired of the argument. I want some sort of resolution. Even if it means a resolution that I don't particularly like or want. I just don't like where we, or rather our relationship is. Or the cycle we seem to be stuck in. Jet doesn't appear to be nearly as bother by all of it. That or he is just hoping it will go away, which is really the most likely scenario.
A couple of the positions I took on this spring in organizations are more than I anticipated. Not horribly more. Not more than I can handle. Just more than I expected. And I find it wearing. I keep saying that soon that will calm down. And it really should.
Most of the things in isolation would cause me some stress but not knock me down.
However, I feel knocked down. Or ready to be knocked down. But I'm stubborn. Very stubborn and I keep going. As I've burst into tears a couple times in the last few week with "I don't want to do this anymore" as I'm talking with my best friend, I know that I will. She knows that I will. I just don't like it.
Pyrope has started kindergarten. He is not particularly enjoying it. His best friend is in his class, which he likes. However, he has informed me on several occasions it is easier for him to learn when I teach him at home. There is too much noise at school. While I agree that I can teach him more academically at home, I saw a very significant decrease in his social and verbal skills since he has been out of school since May. On top of this, he will neither live, go to school, or eventually work in a bubble. He has to learn how to function in the "real world". Academically, he can learn virtually nothing this year, and he will still "pass" kindergarten, as his reading and math skills test at least at a 1st grade level, in some areas a 2nd grade level. So on we will go. With lots of communication to the teacher. I will continue to work on reading, writing, and math at home. He will go to school, communicate with others, socialize, and try to learn how to learn while there.
Obsidian was taken off of growth hormone in July. It wasn't working. The blood tests proved it was not working. His growth velocity had not changed. There is a different hormone, IGF-1, he is now on. Getting it approved of by the insurance is being a chore. My main problem right now is with his doctor. If I could switch doctors I would. Problem being, I can't (practically). The pharmaceutical company that makes it is supplying him (for up to 8 months) with the medication while we are trying to get it approved by insurance. He has been on it for slightly less than 3 weeks. By my measurements (and they have always been accurate in the past), he has grown more in the 3 weeks he has been on IGF-1 than the 6 months he was on GHT (2.6 cm vs 1.9). I'm hoping I'm measuring correctly. I'm hoping (and trying my best) to make sure he can continue on the drug. At this point, I'm not really looking for answers for Obsidian and his medical issues, but just looking for the best treatments I can find. If there is a way to increase his growth rate so he is a typical (or closer to it) height as an adult, it would be great. If a way is not found, I just need to focus on teaching him how to function in a world that is made for adults that are above 5', when he will most likely be right around 4'. I really hope this does give his body what he needs to grow to his genetic potential (which is most likely somewhere in the 5'8" to 5'11" range based on family history).
My work is work. My boss that I like has been moved to a different facility. The one that I have never got along with is it. She is a nice person, but somewhat lacking in managerial skills that would be beneficial to her job.
Jet's job has degraded to the point he updated his resume. This is a large step for him. Finding a job won't be an issue, he just doesn't like change. So he drags his feet when it is time to change. He really has not seriously began to look, apply, or interview. Hopefully the day is coming sooner now. I would have long been gone, for various reasons.
Jet and I have been arguing. I really keep getting the feeling he doesn't see or get my point. Sometimes I think he is trying to taunt me by his actions, but when I stop and really think, I don't feel he is purposely taunting me per se, he just doesn't get what my issue is. No matter how I explain it, or try to have others help me explain it. I'm tired of the argument. I want some sort of resolution. Even if it means a resolution that I don't particularly like or want. I just don't like where we, or rather our relationship is. Or the cycle we seem to be stuck in. Jet doesn't appear to be nearly as bother by all of it. That or he is just hoping it will go away, which is really the most likely scenario.
A couple of the positions I took on this spring in organizations are more than I anticipated. Not horribly more. Not more than I can handle. Just more than I expected. And I find it wearing. I keep saying that soon that will calm down. And it really should.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Not working
I've been measuring Obsidian as I always do. Since he was a premie and he has inital jaundice issues, I've weighed and measured him regularly.
So I knew that his growth had not excellence in the 6 months he was on growth hormone. It was the same for all intents and purposes. Bloodwork needed to be done to make sure there was not significant improvements in his IGF-1 factor. The doctor was supposed to call me with the results and to discuss the plan. At the appointment he didn't want to go into detail because he didn't have all of the information yet (I had called to ask to do the bloodwork prior to the appointment as I knew he didn't grow as hoped, but doctor wanted his measurements to prove this prior to bloodwork). I was told it could take up to a week after the bloodwork was drawn.
Lo and behold, 5 days after the bloodwork was drawn, I got a letter in the mail (mailman delievered our mail at 4:30 that day, doctor's office closes at 4. Some days we get our mail by 8:30 am).. Well, that is somewhat inaccurate. I got a copy of the office visit note (which is standard for where we go). Initially I was reading through it. No new news. Then I get to page 5 of 5. The results of the new bloodwork are in. Appearently I'm to immediately stop giving him GH, and as soon as insurance approves, he is to be on another medicine. That is injected. Twice a day. Oh yes, his diagnosis to why he isn't growing is something different.
Being the information craving Mama Bear that I am I research the drug some. There are some different details with this drug. It must be given with food. If not, Obsidian can become hypoglycemic. In general, Obsidian can now become hypoglycemic (but the risk is particularly high if he doesn't have a full meal within 20 minutes of eating). When I talk to the doctor the next day, he does not mention this. I bring it up to him. He said, oh yes, that could happen. I'm sure my nurse will tell you about that. She'll contact you in the next week. But if you haven't heard from her in 2 weeks, call us. Don't worry my friend. I will be all over you case in less time than that.
I'm curious to how this is going to pan out with our insurance. This is a relatively new drug, released in 2005. It is not considered experimental, but at the same time, there is not a large body of evidence yet. The large long term longitudinal studies do not exist. Partly because of time. Partly because it is rare. It is an expensive drug. As Obsidian is 3 and if it works he will have to take it until he has completed puberty, this will be a long term treatment. It is an expensive drug. All of these things combined, make me wonder if he will be approved. Or if I will have to jump through hoops. Or do battle. Or if I will win the battle.
And I'm tired. And sad. I knew that the odds were not in his favor for growth hormone to work as well as it can in some people, but I had hope. You have to have hope to enter in on something like that. I have hope that this new drug will help. I have fear that it won't. I have a fear that we will not get the chance to find out if would work. I have a fear we will find that it does work, switch insurance (which we do regularly, long story, I am not a fan of the US healthcare system as it is today) and they don't approve it. I have a fear that I will have episodes of hypoglycemia to deal with. I fear that Obsidian will have to deal and feel hypoglycemic. I know how that feels, and it sucks. I fear that there are negative long term risks, risks that we don't even know are risks. By the time that data is in, it will be far to late for Obsidian. So many people think it is the actual injection that is the "bad" part. Honestly, I could care less. I have no issue or fear of that. Obsidian doesn't like shots, but it is not an ordeal. It will become a part of life, as did the bedtime one did. I'm not looking forward to it. I dread even more having to every day have a full breakfast and dinner for him and making sure if he/we are out at those times I have the stuff packed and with him/us. But is a dread like filling up my car with gas when it is 10 degrees below zero. You live with it, you do it.
It is the other fears that keep me up. But one foot in front of the other. As my new keychain says:
So I knew that his growth had not excellence in the 6 months he was on growth hormone. It was the same for all intents and purposes. Bloodwork needed to be done to make sure there was not significant improvements in his IGF-1 factor. The doctor was supposed to call me with the results and to discuss the plan. At the appointment he didn't want to go into detail because he didn't have all of the information yet (I had called to ask to do the bloodwork prior to the appointment as I knew he didn't grow as hoped, but doctor wanted his measurements to prove this prior to bloodwork). I was told it could take up to a week after the bloodwork was drawn.
Lo and behold, 5 days after the bloodwork was drawn, I got a letter in the mail (mailman delievered our mail at 4:30 that day, doctor's office closes at 4. Some days we get our mail by 8:30 am).. Well, that is somewhat inaccurate. I got a copy of the office visit note (which is standard for where we go). Initially I was reading through it. No new news. Then I get to page 5 of 5. The results of the new bloodwork are in. Appearently I'm to immediately stop giving him GH, and as soon as insurance approves, he is to be on another medicine. That is injected. Twice a day. Oh yes, his diagnosis to why he isn't growing is something different.
Being the information craving Mama Bear that I am I research the drug some. There are some different details with this drug. It must be given with food. If not, Obsidian can become hypoglycemic. In general, Obsidian can now become hypoglycemic (but the risk is particularly high if he doesn't have a full meal within 20 minutes of eating). When I talk to the doctor the next day, he does not mention this. I bring it up to him. He said, oh yes, that could happen. I'm sure my nurse will tell you about that. She'll contact you in the next week. But if you haven't heard from her in 2 weeks, call us. Don't worry my friend. I will be all over you case in less time than that.
I'm curious to how this is going to pan out with our insurance. This is a relatively new drug, released in 2005. It is not considered experimental, but at the same time, there is not a large body of evidence yet. The large long term longitudinal studies do not exist. Partly because of time. Partly because it is rare. It is an expensive drug. As Obsidian is 3 and if it works he will have to take it until he has completed puberty, this will be a long term treatment. It is an expensive drug. All of these things combined, make me wonder if he will be approved. Or if I will have to jump through hoops. Or do battle. Or if I will win the battle.
And I'm tired. And sad. I knew that the odds were not in his favor for growth hormone to work as well as it can in some people, but I had hope. You have to have hope to enter in on something like that. I have hope that this new drug will help. I have fear that it won't. I have a fear that we will not get the chance to find out if would work. I have a fear we will find that it does work, switch insurance (which we do regularly, long story, I am not a fan of the US healthcare system as it is today) and they don't approve it. I have a fear that I will have episodes of hypoglycemia to deal with. I fear that Obsidian will have to deal and feel hypoglycemic. I know how that feels, and it sucks. I fear that there are negative long term risks, risks that we don't even know are risks. By the time that data is in, it will be far to late for Obsidian. So many people think it is the actual injection that is the "bad" part. Honestly, I could care less. I have no issue or fear of that. Obsidian doesn't like shots, but it is not an ordeal. It will become a part of life, as did the bedtime one did. I'm not looking forward to it. I dread even more having to every day have a full breakfast and dinner for him and making sure if he/we are out at those times I have the stuff packed and with him/us. But is a dread like filling up my car with gas when it is 10 degrees below zero. You live with it, you do it.
It is the other fears that keep me up. But one foot in front of the other. As my new keychain says:
God grant me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the strength to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Pegasus
Recently Pyrope and his best friend, A, have decided that her mother's minivan is really a magical pegasus. After everyone gets in and her mom starts the car, it turns into a pegasus and flies-- not drives. While they are going to their destination, a running story or commentary goes on about it.
Since this has started, when I drive my car, Pyrope and Obsidian tell me how they wish I had a magical pegasus as a car. I ask them why I can't. I've been told you can't pretend the same thing. That's not fun! So my car has become a digger, Lightnigh McQ***n, and various other things, with story lines to go along with it. At the end of each trip, I get told that it is not "really right" and that they will have to "try again to find the perfect pretend for my car". Okay, you do that. It is easier to take some days than the 8,000 times I sing the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and 5 Little Ducks (the current favorites, but actually these songs rotate on a regular basis, so it isn't that bad. They have a large repertoire of songs, and favorites change regularly).
We were talking with someone whose son is 2 years older than Pyrope. He was saying how he can't go anywhere in the car without his son having to play on his iPh**e or some sort of hand held game. I said that both of our kids lose interest, and we wind up talking about pegasi (is that the plural of pegasus?), other such stories, or signing songs. Even on long trips, portable DVD players and video games don't entertain nearly as long. He said "They know what a pegasus is?" Um, yeah. They also like to be a cyclops around the house. And dragons. And knights. And crusaders. Please don't bring up Musketeers unless you want to see random objects turned into swords and then the moves that go with it (and pretty please don't bring it up if there is not the space to do the moves).
Some days, I do get tired of singing. And making up the stories. Or even listening to the stories. My music or silence in the car I sometimes long for. But then I think of video games that would get me that peace. I'll take my songs and stories.
Since this has started, when I drive my car, Pyrope and Obsidian tell me how they wish I had a magical pegasus as a car. I ask them why I can't. I've been told you can't pretend the same thing. That's not fun! So my car has become a digger, Lightnigh McQ***n, and various other things, with story lines to go along with it. At the end of each trip, I get told that it is not "really right" and that they will have to "try again to find the perfect pretend for my car". Okay, you do that. It is easier to take some days than the 8,000 times I sing the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and 5 Little Ducks (the current favorites, but actually these songs rotate on a regular basis, so it isn't that bad. They have a large repertoire of songs, and favorites change regularly).
We were talking with someone whose son is 2 years older than Pyrope. He was saying how he can't go anywhere in the car without his son having to play on his iPh**e or some sort of hand held game. I said that both of our kids lose interest, and we wind up talking about pegasi (is that the plural of pegasus?), other such stories, or signing songs. Even on long trips, portable DVD players and video games don't entertain nearly as long. He said "They know what a pegasus is?" Um, yeah. They also like to be a cyclops around the house. And dragons. And knights. And crusaders. Please don't bring up Musketeers unless you want to see random objects turned into swords and then the moves that go with it (and pretty please don't bring it up if there is not the space to do the moves).
Some days, I do get tired of singing. And making up the stories. Or even listening to the stories. My music or silence in the car I sometimes long for. But then I think of video games that would get me that peace. I'll take my songs and stories.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Grow Up
This past weekend, my SIL and her two girls came for a long weekend (coming on Friday and leaving on Tuesday). I never look forward to the visits. I don't particularly enjoy her or her kids company. This time she managed to outdo herself.
My MIL has cancer. Stage III. It didn't respond to the first set of chemo drugs. The second set is taking its toll on her body, and has yet to show any real signs of helping with the cancer.
She is very hard to get gifts for. Very hard. She doesn't collect anything. She doesn't go out to eat. She doesn't go out much in general. She doesn't like gadgets or new things in general. She does love her grandchildren. And her children. She loves getting new pictures of her grandkids. Particularly when she gets new professional pictures of them, we hear about it for a long time.
So I thought to myself, while SIL is here, we will go and get family pictures. We being Jet, my kids, her and her kids (SIL husband was not coming, and frankly I don't think my MIL cares one way or the other about me. And it would look silly with me but not SIL husband). Jet told her the plan. The girls brought complimenting dresses. I got outfits for the boys (new ones, including shoes.... if I'm going to do something like this, I want to do it well). Once here, I bring up (again) about her being in the picture. She says she can't because she doesn't have any make-up. I offer to go and buy some. She says that would be silly. I say it would be silly to not get her picture taken for her mom. We continue to go back and forth. Her girls taking my side of the argument. Jet not commenting. SIL says to Jet at one point that she knows he really doesn't want to be in the picture so why isn't he arguing with me. He quietly observes that my reasoning for it is that their ma would love the pictures, and that there is no way he can come up with a reasonable counter argument to that. The argument continues the next morning. And at the studio. Finially, the moment comes it is now or never. I say to SIL, if your ma tells you she would really like you to do this, would you? She said yes, thinking that I had no way to do this. I pull out my cell phone and hand it to Jet to dial. He gets the evil eye from his sister. I glare. He looks at her, he looks at me. He dialed. I talk to my very confused MIL. She immediately said she would love a picture, make up or not, and kept questioning me why I would think that she would need/want SIL to have make up. I said I didn't, but to please tell SIL that she would like the picture taken. So SIL gets the phone, then begrudgingly gets in the picture. She was pouting for a lack of a better word in the pictures.
The rest of the weekend, she did things (I feel) to try to provoke or get even with me. Opening windows when the air conditioner was on. Not closing the door when she came inside/went outside (hello, air conditioning, mosquitoes!). Not showing up one night for dinner (or calling to let us know she wasn't coming). Whatever. Grow up. I refused to be provoked. I kept closing windows and doors. We waited a 1/2 hour from when we normally eat, then ate without them. Once again. Grow up.
So we drove up to visit my MIL. It is a 4 hour trip each way (well sometimes it is less, construction was heavy to put it mildly). We got there and pulled out the pictures for my MIL to choose what she wanted to keep (along with the ones I had framed). She was so excited. And confused. She didn't understand that I was talking about a professional picture. She commented that she never had a professional picture taken of the two of her kids but had always wanted one (I had planned on a picture of just the two of them, but with the torture of the one group shot, I was not up for further argument). She went around her apartment rearranging her picture several times to come up with the perfect arrangement. I'm sure it has been rearranged multiple times since then. All of her grandkids together in a professional picture (actually a couple different poses of all of them together, then each individually, then the siblings). And then the one with her kids in it as well. She then started to question me if SIL knew about this prior to her trip. I said yes. She then questioned me why SIL had not come prepared for it (meaning make up and a coordinating top, Jet choose a top to match the kids, he figured that he would be in the pictures). Or gone out and got the make up and/or top after she got here. I shrugged.
My MIL happiness over the pictures made it worth my trouble. I don't understand what made my SIL fight it. Or be so passive aggressive the rest of the trip. The pictures weren't about her. In all honesty, if she didn't like them or want to see them, then don't take any or give any out. Just give a copy to your mom. Grow up. It really was not any stretch of the imagination on my part that my MIL would love it. Why couldn't SIL just see it as a gift even if she didn't like it? Jet certainly does not enjoy taking family pictures but didn't say anything after I put out my reasoning. It gets down to: Grow up.
My MIL has cancer. Stage III. It didn't respond to the first set of chemo drugs. The second set is taking its toll on her body, and has yet to show any real signs of helping with the cancer.
She is very hard to get gifts for. Very hard. She doesn't collect anything. She doesn't go out to eat. She doesn't go out much in general. She doesn't like gadgets or new things in general. She does love her grandchildren. And her children. She loves getting new pictures of her grandkids. Particularly when she gets new professional pictures of them, we hear about it for a long time.
So I thought to myself, while SIL is here, we will go and get family pictures. We being Jet, my kids, her and her kids (SIL husband was not coming, and frankly I don't think my MIL cares one way or the other about me. And it would look silly with me but not SIL husband). Jet told her the plan. The girls brought complimenting dresses. I got outfits for the boys (new ones, including shoes.... if I'm going to do something like this, I want to do it well). Once here, I bring up (again) about her being in the picture. She says she can't because she doesn't have any make-up. I offer to go and buy some. She says that would be silly. I say it would be silly to not get her picture taken for her mom. We continue to go back and forth. Her girls taking my side of the argument. Jet not commenting. SIL says to Jet at one point that she knows he really doesn't want to be in the picture so why isn't he arguing with me. He quietly observes that my reasoning for it is that their ma would love the pictures, and that there is no way he can come up with a reasonable counter argument to that. The argument continues the next morning. And at the studio. Finially, the moment comes it is now or never. I say to SIL, if your ma tells you she would really like you to do this, would you? She said yes, thinking that I had no way to do this. I pull out my cell phone and hand it to Jet to dial. He gets the evil eye from his sister. I glare. He looks at her, he looks at me. He dialed. I talk to my very confused MIL. She immediately said she would love a picture, make up or not, and kept questioning me why I would think that she would need/want SIL to have make up. I said I didn't, but to please tell SIL that she would like the picture taken. So SIL gets the phone, then begrudgingly gets in the picture. She was pouting for a lack of a better word in the pictures.
The rest of the weekend, she did things (I feel) to try to provoke or get even with me. Opening windows when the air conditioner was on. Not closing the door when she came inside/went outside (hello, air conditioning, mosquitoes!). Not showing up one night for dinner (or calling to let us know she wasn't coming). Whatever. Grow up. I refused to be provoked. I kept closing windows and doors. We waited a 1/2 hour from when we normally eat, then ate without them. Once again. Grow up.
So we drove up to visit my MIL. It is a 4 hour trip each way (well sometimes it is less, construction was heavy to put it mildly). We got there and pulled out the pictures for my MIL to choose what she wanted to keep (along with the ones I had framed). She was so excited. And confused. She didn't understand that I was talking about a professional picture. She commented that she never had a professional picture taken of the two of her kids but had always wanted one (I had planned on a picture of just the two of them, but with the torture of the one group shot, I was not up for further argument). She went around her apartment rearranging her picture several times to come up with the perfect arrangement. I'm sure it has been rearranged multiple times since then. All of her grandkids together in a professional picture (actually a couple different poses of all of them together, then each individually, then the siblings). And then the one with her kids in it as well. She then started to question me if SIL knew about this prior to her trip. I said yes. She then questioned me why SIL had not come prepared for it (meaning make up and a coordinating top, Jet choose a top to match the kids, he figured that he would be in the pictures). Or gone out and got the make up and/or top after she got here. I shrugged.
My MIL happiness over the pictures made it worth my trouble. I don't understand what made my SIL fight it. Or be so passive aggressive the rest of the trip. The pictures weren't about her. In all honesty, if she didn't like them or want to see them, then don't take any or give any out. Just give a copy to your mom. Grow up. It really was not any stretch of the imagination on my part that my MIL would love it. Why couldn't SIL just see it as a gift even if she didn't like it? Jet certainly does not enjoy taking family pictures but didn't say anything after I put out my reasoning. It gets down to: Grow up.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
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