But you take care of yourself, right?

Periodically I have the same conversation. It is mostly with acquaintances or strangers. It is sometimes with coworkers or not close family members. Very very rarely with casual friends. Never with close friends. The irony is that, it is those whose least business it is feel the most free to ask me. On the other hand, my close family and friends know.

I can tell how the conversation starts if it has a chance of going 'there'. Sometimes it does, sometimes it goes a different direction.

I have Type 1 diabetes. For nearly 20 years. It is an autoimmune disease. There is nothing I did to cause it, or contribute to developing it. It is often seen at the 'bad type' of diabetes. It is not bad per say. It is a different disease with some similar end results as type 2. It has some different challenges. Some to most type 1's retain some ability to produce very small amounts of insulin because their beta cells regenerate. The large majority of type 1 women who become pregnant significantly increase the amount of insulin they produce themselves. It is never enough to go off insulin, quite the contrary, when you are pregnant you need vastly larger amounts. And then there are those of us that produce no insulin at all. And those of us in that group that become pregnant, an even smaller group still produce an absolute 0.0 even while pregnant. The people in that final group are at particularly high risk of developing complications (both during and after pregnancies). Men are the same in that there are a small group of men that produce no insulin. And even a smaller group of men that seem more prone to get complications than others with type 1. I participated in studies for both of my pregnancies. I am in the very small group that produces an absolute 0.0. This virtually guarantees I will get complications. And those complications will be more severe.

I also have another autoimmune disease. And have been slowly developing a 3rd, it is more of a question of when I will cross the clinical threshold to officially have that diagnosis. It will come.

Periodically, my health becomes more precarious than other times. For the last 6 weeks, that has been the case. I've been hospitalized and gone through a series of outpatient appointments and procedures. Some days I've felt like absolute crap, but apart from the days that I was hospitalized or banned from driving for medical reasons, only those who are close to me have any idea. Life goes on, and I go on living it. Just with added complications and tasks on my to do lists.

But then there is the casual acquaintance who starts to ask me about my diabetes. And then turns to the 'but you take care of yourself so you don't have any complications, right?' I do try to take care of myself. Very hard. Even when medical professionals accuse me otherwise. But am I 'healthy'? Do I have 'complications'? How exactly are you judging me by these measures? Do you have any idea how the cards are stacked against me? And on top of this, why do you feel it is okay to ask such a personal question?