This summer has taken directions I haven't anticipated. Relationships have been challenged, multiple times, in multiple ways, most of which I didn't anticipate.
I'm married. Being married this summer has challenged me. Really challenged me. I have a deep peace about it, although it is odd as there are parts that are really bothering me. Without a lot of reception on the other side of why I find it bothersome.
The first week of June was rough. Very rough. Among other problems that were caused that week, my best friend and my relationship was challenged. Not because of a disagreement between us, but we both had to make decisions that very much changed the relationship and how we socialize. And really how our kids socialize. I was going to resign an executive board position. Best friend advised to not do it in heat of the moment. So I was giving it 24 hours. In that 24 hours, she resigned a board position. Then by the end of the week, left the organization (she was president of this organization less than a month prior to this event). I was still in. I decided to stay in for the year. I was unhappy with how things were going. I was very unhappy about the fact we were treated as "J and Ruby", not two separate individuals. I have had to very clearly and repeatedly say "I am Ruby, I am not J. Please treat me as such." I'm still frustrated by the organization. I'm still in to follow through with my commitment. That same week I got a phone call that Obsidian was very unexpectedly given a position in a preschool. I had been told come September that they *might* have an open spot, and then screen kids for the spot(s), but nothing before then. Out of the blue the first week of June, I got a phone call that they changed some policies, and there was an open position, and he got it. Obsidian and J's younger daughter were going to be in the same preschool, in the same class. I was going to help with pick up times, as it was not going to go with her older daughter's schedule perfectly. So I was leaving her behind. On Monday morning of that week, we thought we were doing a lot of things together. A lot. By the end of the week, she had left an organization that I choose to remain in, and I left a school she choose to remain in.
I like planning out trips, and generally do so fairly far in advance. I planned a trip to a near by lake. Nothing special about it. I (with Jet's agreement) invited my mother for the week. My siblings were supposed to come. I changed some of the dates so they could come. They didn't. However, the vacation was just about perfect. We went to the beach. We ate. We hung out at the house. My mom got to know my kids in a way she typically doesn't. We did a 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle. It was relaxing. We were going to go on an adventure or two, but lacked the motivation to do so. Which is fine. We really all had a great time.
And then my cousin asked if we wanted to go to the beach in North Carolina a couple weeks after I paid for first vacation. So a month after first vacation, we did another vacation. In some ways a great vacation, in others, so-so. Most of my siblings did make it for that one. However, my one brother who was supposed to be there the whole time, was only there for 2 days. And he brought his girlfriend (which was actually fun, she was so enamored with the ocean, it was fun to watch her and my brother). My brother, who has a wife and 2.5 year old, kept saying they were not coming. Less than 12 hours before we were leaving, I get a text from my aunt, who is on the road to get there that we are sharing a house with, to call my brother and figure out how many air mattresses we need. To quote my reply text to her "Um. Okay." My sister did not speak much to me the whole trip. She didn't speak a lot to anyone. I thought it would be a lot of 'family time'. Not so much. The other house (my cousins and their families), always were going out and doing things. My immediate family is happy playing in the ocean, eating, lounging, playing in the ocean, walking the beach, and eating some more. My brother with the 2 year old, never put said child to bed before 10 (frequently later, and typically after he had been screaming for a while). My kids were always out cold by 8. My kids and I had breakfast, swam in the ocean, played in the beach, and were coming back to eat while nephew was sitting at the table working on breakfast. They would be at the beach, or having an adventure, when I had my kids quiet/nap time in the afternoon (trust me my kids need that or they are screaming demons later). Pyrope in particular LOVED the ocean. Obsidian was very impressed with watching the baby sea turtles make their way to the ocean. But it was not what I expected.
I took the kids to DC, on a short notice trip. Jet did not come. We met with a friend. I've been surprised from the criticism I've received from this trip. From different people, for various reasons. It was a good trip. I enjoyed it. My kids enjoyed it. I think the other person enjoyed it. I don't get why other people have such strong opinions of it. Given the opportunity, I'll do it again. It was fun.
Then my certification class. I have never had any intention of starting my own business/company/nonprofit or anything like that. Not a desire of mine. Not even a remote desire of mine. Something I've said I would not do. Yeah, about statements like that. I am now certified to teach a class that I feel really has a lot to offer my community. However, there is no group or company in the area that runs this class in a sustainable manner. So I'm taking it on. I'm so very overwhelmed by it at this point. I am trying to break it down to achievable, doable parts. My goal is to teach my first class by the end of the year and have other classes set up to teach in the new year. Next year, it is my goal to get more of a framework for a nonprofit to support the ongoing needs of running the program. With the hope to expand to other target audiences in the future. Hopefully a 5 year future. J is planning on joining in on this after I get it more off of the ground. She says she will help get it off of the ground, but it is mainly me. And I know that. And she knows that. And really, personality wise, you would think it would be the opposite for starting this.
So here it is, a week before the school year begins, and I have lots of hopes, dreams, plans, and many uncertainties for the year. Bring it on.
