In January 2011, Pyrope and Obsidian started Tae Kwon Do. For very different reasons, Jet and I thought it would be good for them. And it has been. When they first started, I questioned the master that the two of them would be progressing at the same rate. Pyrope is older and is not delayed with his gross motor skills. Obsidian is younger and delayed. He will soon turn 5, and he still can not walk down stairs alternating feet. The only place he can keep up with learning skills is in a pool. TKD is not an aquatic activity. The master assured me that they would continue to be promoted together and this would work out fine.
For the first year and two months, they were promoted together. They got their first new belt in 2 months and after that they got a new belt consistently every 3 months. With a few exceptions, every child in the school is promoted every 3 months. I've never seen a child fail a belt 'promotion test'. After their last promotion test to orange in March, I was called into the Master's office. Bottom line, Obsidian will not be belt tested again until he is 6. Pyrope will continue to be promoted every 3 months.
I do not have a problem with Obsidian taking longer to be promoted. It takes him longer to gain physical skills. I do have a problem with the fact he is used to being promoted with Pyrope, and that promotion coming every 3 months. There will now be a 16 month stretch with no promotion. He will have to watch Pyrope continue with the promotions. He will have to watch his classmates move past him regularly. I also would have less of an issue from a theological point of view if other children were held back as well. There is another boy that is in Obsidian's grade. He is 5 months older than Obsidian and is 'typical' for gaining gross motor skills. However, he does not want to gain skills, does not listen as well, and does not enjoy TKD as much as Obsidian. His mother was told that they were going to hold him back a level while his older brother was promoted (who is born within a couple weeks of Pyrope). She said if they did not give the younger one his belt, she would just order it on the internet and bring him wearing it. He was promoted. This I have issue with on many levels. First, why on earth would the TKD school even consider moving him up even if he was wearing the higher color belt. It takes away from everyone that has EARNED the belt. Second, what is the mom thinking? If your child has not earned the belt, why get it for him? If you do not want to go with the TKD school's program, don't send him there.
I have been discussing regularly, and at times at length, with Obsidian the fact that he will not be getting a green belt when Pyrope does. And that other kids will be 'passing' him. We've talked about how it is his job to do his best and he will be promoted when he is ready. He is verbalized his frustration. He has brought up other kids that are not 6 that are green belts or higher. He has pointed out how some kids do not pay attention or try as hard as he does. How some are not even able to do the forms as well as he is. All true statements. I've watch his attitude and how hard he tries fluctuate in class. The instructors have watched the same. At one point, I thought about complaining about the other children who were also younger that did not have the skills that the older children and adults with the same belt level have being promoted and my son not being promoted. Then came the story of the internet belt. I have a peace about letting my child be held back. When he is promoted, it will be because he has the skill. Waking up in the morning, and in the mornings to come, that is something I can own up to being part of and teach my child it do. To earn his belts.
