What about me?

As my dad used to always tell me "Life's not fair."  Right now I have a laundry list of reasons why I say that about my own life.

• The one thing I wanted to do this summer was go with my family to listen to music in a large park.  The 4th of July didn't work out because of visitors.  Most weekends didn't work out because of Jet's plans.  Then on Saturday we were supposed to go.  With friends.  And it rained.  And we stayed home.
• I was going to go for a girl's night out at the beginning of the summer.  We canceled because we were both tired.  We were supposed to go out for dinner for my birthday.  That isn't going to happen either due to her husband's busy schedule.
• I made a goal of completing a triathlon.  I do much better if I'm with other people when I'm exercising.  So I got a friend to do it with me.  Then she broke her foot.  So I was doing it by myself.  It would have been nice if Jet stopped by with the kids during the race.  Or my mom or one of my siblings.  I did it, but it was vaguely a let down that no one was there to actually see it.  I am forever grateful for all of the strangers that cheered me on.  I did it, I finished.  Close to dead last, but I finished (which was the goal.  Not to make excuses but the weather was horrible the day I did it as well).
• I wanted to go on vacation this summer.  Nothing big, just a week away but close by.  Probably camping.  That isn't going to happen either.  Jet spent all of his time off this summer helping his mom (which I completely don't mind or begrudge him or her) so no vacation.  We are going for a weekend as my birthday present (as we do each year), Jet is bringing his boat that he hasn't used all summer.  So he will be out on that a good part of the time, and I will be in with at least Obsidian, if not Pyrate and Obsidian when they get bored of the boat (Obsidian bores quickly, he would rather be on the beach, in the lake, or at the pool).  Not exactly a birthday present.
• I would very much love to get pregnant and have a 3rd child.  Well, I really wouldn't like the pregnant part, I hate being pregnant, I just like the end result.  Jet does not want a 3rd child.   I pray that I accidentally get pregnant.  At work, a series of coworker/spouses have got pregnant recently while on birth control and have been open about the unplannedness of the pregnancy/child.  And I'm jealous.  Irrationally.  I would love to take their place.  I know Jet would be fine with the child if it came alone.  He has even said that.  (For those of you wondering, no, this wouldn't be "trying for a girl".  I would love a girl, but I would love having 3 boys as well.  There are advantages to both.  It is the child I want.)
• Due to some unforeseen expenses (well, one major unforeseen expense, and one planned home improvement that we spent way more than originally planned/budgeted for at this time), I need to work more, a lot more, for the next year.  Yes, I am fortunate that I haven't had to work much since Obsidian was born.  I'm even more fortunate that I can just decide I need to work more and then I instantly can.  I'm just not looking forward to giving up 1/2 of my weekends for the next year. It doesn't help that I really don't care if Jet's classic car is fixed right away (I voted on wait).  I suppose I will be more excited that all of our windows, not just some, are replaced.  And they are correctly replaced in light of the lead paint that will be stirred up in replacing some of them. I will have to remind myself of the windows frequently when I'm not getting to spend time with Jet and the kids.

So what about me?  When do I get to do something I really want?  Or I feel something is going my way?

Firsts

While frequently I look forward to "firsts", I'm never exactly sure what to do.  And so it is on here.  I have been creating posts in my head about various subjects for some time now, but as I didn't have a blog, I did nothing about it.  Many times when I actually put words down, it helps even more to distill my ideas and feelings on subjects more than just thinking about them.  As complications in my life seem to be at an abundance right now, it is a good time to start.

The questions I have about this blog is what do I want out of it?  Or what do I want to put into it?  Why do I want to do it?

One of the largest reasons is the desire to create a network of people that share at least one common interest or thread in their lives.  Some of my problems are relatively common, but I don't feel comfortable with sharing them with random people I know IRL.  Some or the more recent issues that have been coming up with my 2nd son are rare.  I would love to be with others who are dealing or have dealt with similar problems (or at any case dealt with other rare issues so can understand my frustrations).  I have been mainly a SAHM for over 4 years, and have found myself struggling more to put together longer compositions since I have stopped writing daily at work.  This is to keep up some of my writing skills, admittedly writing a blog is very different than the type of writing I do at work but I still have to put down my thoughts in an organized manor.  I want to see how this whole blog will evolve over time.  And I want a written record to see how I evolve over time.