From the time I was a child, I always associated late summer, as in the end of August or early September with being a "new year". More so than January. Even in the intervening years that I was not in school or working in a school, I still thought of it as that way. Last year, with Pyrope starting preschool, I returned to that thought pattern in complete earnest. This year with him being in kindergarten, the feeling is back full force. And I've come to the conclusion, it most likely will remain so for the next 20 years or so. At which point I'll be in my 50's, and all but 8 years or so will have been marked by the beginning of school.
This year I've really been thinking about stuff. Material stuff. Mainly the fact I have too much of it. My kids have too much of it. Less is better. As I think about specific things, for the most part, I really come to the conclusion I don't need it. And in many cases I really don't want it or think it makes my life happier or better in any manner. Now to purge my belongings. And my kids. That will be the tougher part.
Relationships. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about how I value them. Which ones I want to work harder on. Which ones I want to "maintain". Which ones I want to spend less time on. I've thought about the natural cycles where people and my relationship with them goes through.
My "professional" goals. My monetarily compensated job makes me set new "professional" (i.e. it relations to my job) goals. These are made each spring. This year, it has been decided that we have to look at them semi-annual. This took me by surprise as I was called into my boss' office. I was then asked what I was specifically doing to reach my goal. I've never been asked that either. Um, nothing. I was then told I have to do something to move towards my goal. Which I will because it is part of my job. But as I was thinking about this, I decided, I really don't care. My "professional" goal(s) at this point is to go to work, fulfill my job description, go home, and get paid. I don't care to advance. I don't particularly care to do anything different than what I'm doing. At this point of my life, I prefer to dedicate my time and energy to my "home" jobs.
This lead me to thinking about time, and how I spend it. I've decided I need to spend less time on the computer doing pointless things. I've decided I really don't understand people who spend a lot of time watching TV, or really even movies. I can't tell you the last time I watched a TV show. Other than sitting down and watching something with the boys, I can't even say the last movie I watched. And I don't miss it. I've decided I do need to spend more time doing cleaning/housework. I've come to the realization I spend a lot of time, and I mean a lot doing schoolwork with Pyrope and physical to build strength, endurance, balance, and vestibular skills with Obsidian. I've come to the conclusion that for the next number of years, these activities will be a major part of how I spend my time. I think about how much time I spend on dealing with health care issues. And that just makes me angry. Not physically dealing with, learning about, developing treatments for the issues (mainly mine and Obsidian's, but also Pyrope), but with health insurance carriers, doctor's offices, billing departments, pharmacies, human resources, exc. for getting the services/medications that are needed and the correct billing to the correct payor for each item. I see no end in sight for this use of my time. I wish I had more time to read. Overall, I've read more this year than I have since Pyrope was a baby, but I would still love to read more. I don't particularly have a list of books that I want to read, but I just love to read and wish I did it more.
My temper. As a child, it was very short. I consciously worked on it. Slowly over the past year, my temper has got out of check and I find myself yelling more. Just being aware of how much I yell, and verbally show my frustration, and show it in other ways, I've decided I need to reign in. I know that when I'm not flying off the handle as much, as a general rule, my stress levels go down as well. I'm not one for really bottling up until things blow up, but I do best if I stop and think before I act or speak. Particularly when I'm stressed, upset, or angry.
So here is to a new year. I'm hoping for a good one.
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