A favorite

For as long as I can remember, today was a favorite day of mine.  All Saints Day.  If you don't include Christmas and Easter, it has always been my favorite feast day.  Not St. Nicholas Day or the Epiphany or St. Valentine's Day (and those days I got a small treat or gift).  Adults thought this odd for a child.  Particularly after they heard my reasoning.

I loved the idea of people, ordinary people, people I knew, or knew of being with God in Heaven and knowing that someday, I would be with them.  I was less drawn to the "known saints", the people who were famous for being good and well, saintly.  I was drawn to the people who were like me.  Who were my family.  I wanted (and still do) to meet my grandmother who passed away before I was born.  I had always been told I had a similar personality to her.  I wanted to be with my grandfather and climb in his toy cabinet again (seeing I was 2.5 when he passed away and I remembering it being a tight fit, I doubt I would have fit in, and I highly doubt now as an adult that Heaven is physically like my grandfather's apartment).  As I've grown older, my list has grown of the people that I hope and pray are saints in heaven that I will someday be reunited with.  I look forward to all of the souls that I have not had the privilege of meeting or getting to know here on earth.

As I sat in Mass today with Pyrope and Obsidean, I thought of other years masses on this day.  8 years of going with my classmates.  The year I was 8 and defended myself for going with my father.  The year I was living in an adult family home, and the sermon was exactly what I had lived the 5 hours prior and the fit of giggles it gave me and my friend.  The years that I went and was sad for those I missed.  The years that I was excited for the 8 weeks to come.

And this year.  I thought of those that I hope are in heaven.  And I thought of the voice that I've thought heard pulling me to do something.  Something that is was not the plan.  That I hope is not the plan because it will be hard.  Rewarding but hard.  A road I didn't want to go down.  Only time will tell if I will go down it.  I felt my resistance breaking.

So it continues to be a favorite.  I miss those that have gone before us.  I pray they are in heaven.  I look forward to the day that I will join them in eternal happiness.