Guilty pleasures

Shortly after my mother-in-law was diagnosis with her first type of cancer early this spring, I started playing Farm.ville.  In many ways, I didn't (and don't) feel like have much control of things.  Of Obsidian's medical issues.  Of Pyrope's difficulty with language or cognition or whatever his issue is.  Of Jet and I arguing over 2 vs 3 children.  I needed a mindless, simple game that I could consistently control.  Throughout the spring, summer, and fall I have continued playing.  There is something satisfying about seeing things progress in an orderly predictable manner.  With the different diagnosis happening, different issues with various people, I can log onto my farm, and everything will work by the rules.  Even if something does not go how I want it, I know it is going to happen because of the rules.  The rules don't change.  So most evenings, you can find me unwinding on my farm.  It gives me pleasure to see how many things I've accomplished and how my farm looks.  If I want to change the look, I delete, rearrange, and buy new things.  At the same time, I feel guilty about "wasting" my time doing this.  I then rationalize the time I spend on my farm by saying I don't watch TV and I haven't been spending time on any of my other hobbies (most of which because I can't tolerate the frustration that they sometimes bring).  So I will continue farming.  I will escape to a place where the rules are black and white, and I can visually get immediate results of my work.