Walking by Faith

One of my favorite hymns in church has been "We Walk by Faith"

We walk by faith, and not by sight;
no gracious words we hear from him
who spoke as none e'er spoke;
but we believe him near.

We may not touch his hands and side,
nor follow where he trod;
but in his promise we rejoice;
and cry, "My Lord and God!"

Help then, O Lord, our unbelief;
and may our faith abound,
to call on you when you are near,
and seek where you are found:

that, when our life of faith is done,
in realms of clearer light
we may behold you as you are,
with full and endless sight.

Words: Henry Alford (1810-1871), alt

Music: St. Botolph 

While I mainly think about it with my spiritual life, but at some points, I feel that I need to apply it to all aspects, or rather a specific aspect at that point.

Obsidian seems to go through "series" of medical appointments, then there will be a lull.  He just finished, for the most part, the series again.  Genetics, endocrinology, second opinion endocrinology, neurology, and school system assessment.  Neurology is recommending a second opinion for genetics and he has to go through a full assessment by the schools, but other than that he is done until the middle of the summer.  His MRI and all of his bloodwork is normal (minus the IGF-1 but even that it is ONLY that is perplexing).  Which is good, but does not offer a reason to why.  Or lead us to what we should do.

The bottom line of all of the appointments is: no one is sure why he is so small, has his gross motor delays, or his other "issues" are there.  For the most part, everyone agrees that is all related.  Somehow.  But no one knows how.  All feel it is most likely genetically based.  Growth hormone therapy might or might not help him grow more.  Depending on who you ask, the odds are not even 50/50 that it will help.

Nothing that was discussed was news or surprising.  Well, apart from some idiot screener for the school system that said Obsidian had no delays including gross motor which is just idiotic (I can not accept this and demand a full evaluation, which is the plan).  I'll not further digress.

As I think about the search for the cause of Obsidian's problems, I think there needs to be a point that we stop so actively searching.  At some point, we need to start "walking by faith", moving forward without true understanding.  With the knowledge, and hopefully acceptance, that we might not ever understand during this life the reasons.  I'm getting very close to that point.  We have consulted or go to experts in many fields, specialist that are known worldwide for their knowledge.  It is not that we can't revisit it when medical knowledge has advanced more.  But I'm coming more and more to the conclusion, with current medical knowledge, there is no "answer" to the underlying reason of Obsidian's medical issues.  While the lyrics don't exactly point to the issue, the general idea or point is what I think I need to be listening to.  I will continue to walk, but accept I might not understand, that understanding as I would like it might not be in my immediate future.