What now?

Pyrope has always been behind with speech.  He started cooing late, waving, saying words, combining words, exc.  It has been a concern of mine since before he was a year old.  I work with him on it all of the time, some more formal ways than others.  I've had him tested at various points to see if he qualifies for speech therapy.  Each time I get the same story, yes he has delays, but no he doesn't qualify because he is not delayed enough.  Bring him back again if it continues to be an issue.  It continues to be an issue, and getting to be a larger one.  Most recently, I took him to a private speech therapist (ST).  He was by far the most empathetic of all of the evaluators.  However, he works in the medical model, so it paid mainly by insurance.  Pyrope has some higher skills that pull up his standard scores a lot (not all the way to normal, but high enough that he does not qualify).  However, he still is missing some basic lower level skills, that is making it very difficult for him to function and gain higher skills.  Such as, if you ask him if someone is hungry what do you do?  He will answer you get a bowl, get a spoon, get cereal, get milk, and pour them in a bowl.  Then what do you do?  He can't tell you eat.  If you ask what do you use a towel for, he will say after a bath, when you are wet, keep it in the closet, put it in the laundry, but he can't tell you that you use it to dry off.  Technically, the whole list of things is a skill that should come later than the basic answer of "eat" or "dry off".  But he can't do the basic component of it.  So he gets points for the higher skill but not the lower.  This is really becoming more and more of an issue.  If he falls and huts his knee, he will go sit in a corner, not come ask for help.  If he is asked to go get help, he will tell the person something that is related, but not that they need to come help.  As he is starting to spend more time in school this year, and if don't homeschool him next year he will really be spending a lot of time in a larger group, I worry about his safety.  If he is sick, he doesn't tell you.  If he is hurt, he doesn't tell you.  Someone has to notice then say something.  Then he typically just cries.  I worry about if he gets really hurt.  If the teacher does not directly observe it happening (or the after effects) or a classmate doesn't say anything, he won't.  Or maybe he can't.  I don't know how to help him get past this.  I don't know how I can send him into a class with 24 other 5 year olds and hope for the best knowing he can't express those needs.  Some days he can't even tell you he has to go to the bathroom, he will just start to cry, then pee himself.  Other days he can say something.  Other days he will just go in on his own.  I'm so frustrated with the idea of I know there is a problem.  I know there are professionals who can help him and me get past this problem.  But since the rules say he doesn't qualify, then I can't get him any help.  Even though everyone professional I talk to say there is something very odd about his speech, and how he is picking it up.  And that it is very rare for a kid to have a skill set like Pyrope has (higher level skills in the building blocks that should be needed to get those skills are missing... in a couple of different areas).  I'm tired of having the "rare" kid.  Between Pyrope and Obsidian, some of the words I dread the most are "I've never/I very rare see this happen."  Yeah.  Welcome to my life.  The worst part is almost always the person tells me they don't know what to do next.  Great.  So I'm left with what do I do now?  I'm comfortable with the preschool Pyrope is in, there is 1:8 ratio with the kids.  Next year unless he has made some leaps, I don't know.  I never really intended on homeschooling, but at this point am seriously looking into it.  Until I have the confidence that Pyrope can ask for needed help, I don't know if I can send him.  I don't know if I should send him to a bricks and motor school.

Dear Lord

God, grant me the...

Serenity to accept things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can, and the

Wisdom to know the difference

Patience for the things that take time

Appreciation for all that I have, and

Tolerance for those with different struggles

Freedom to live beyond the limitations of my past ways, the

Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the

Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

I pray for discernment for all decisions with my kids, but particularly ones like this.