Finding the best words

Sunday would have been my parents 34h wedding anniversary.  Every year, I have the same dilemma.  What should I do?  What should I say?  Since my aunt (my dad's twin brother's wife) passed away, I am the only one who acknowledges the day.  My siblings never remember.  The people in the wedding party (4) are either no longer in contact with my mom, don't remember (dad's twin), or deceased.  Her brothers don't remember either.  I know it is a hard day for my mom.  I also know whatever I say and do is better than nothing.

This year, my mom made a spur of the moment trip to visit my sister to help her with a project for her classroom.  This is the first time my mom has visited my sister in the year she has lived there (and I don't think she ever visited her in the 4 years she was at college, she only went to help drop her off twice in those years).  I find out about the visit from a strange message on my answering machine from my mother letting me know that she was not going to be home the next day (her anniversary) and I was the only one that would visit her that day so I was the only one that she was going to tell that she was leaving.  Brother #2 might have stopped by to visit her that day but he would have been clueless to the meaning of the day and wouldn't have thought twice if she wasn't there when he stopped by.  A quick phone call to my sister to warn her of what the occasion was left her cursing (and promising to not mention that I called to tell her).  My sister wound up doing what I do, buying my mom flowers and wishing her a happy anniversary.  I did the same (just delivered a day late).  I always think about a card, but I never can find one that is appropriate.

So I do my best, I let her know I'm remembering with her.  I get her flowers just like my dad always did.  I get to think about others around me.  I know my mom is a bear to be around on that date, but for the most part there isn't a living sole that knows why (other than me, or whatever person I alert that year).  I wonder how many people who are seemingly just "having a bad day" are having a difficult day of remembrance with no one to remember it with.  For a while, I always seem to be gentler to those in random bad moods.  You never know...

I just pray that I don't forget (I've almost forgot my own anniversary... and I've only had 6 so far).