Maddening

Today I got a call from my "health care coach".  I get one every month, or maybe it is 6 weeks.  I try to forget.  At any rate, if I talk to my "coach" at whatever the prescribed interval is, I get a significant discount on some of my diabetes medications (some I don't have to pay co-pays, some my cap is lifted, some both, which leaves the things that are not covered a whole lot easier to swallow).  Some of my "coaches" I've had through the various carriers I've been covered under I've liked more than others.  This one I don't like.  At all.  And I don't think she likes me.  However, until our coverage is changed again, she and I will be talking regularly.

She started with my goal is to get my A1c lower.  Yeah.  She then said that I need to work on not having so many highs and lows.  That would be spectacular.  The conversation quickly went downhill from there.  We only got to about lunchtime in my daily routine before she ended the painful conversation.  I know it will be continued at a later date.  I know I got labeled "non-complaint" or "argumentative" or some similar negative labels in my chart.  Her basic suggestions were that I do the same thing every day.  Eat the same (or similar) foods at the same time each day, at regular intervals.  That I should get up at the same time each day.  That I should have a similar activity level at the same time each day.  I don't do well on any of these things.  That is why I have a pump.  That is why I accept the negative parts of pumping.  I'm not going to get up at 5 am every morning because on the mornings I work this is what time I have to wake up.  I have not the faintest idea how I would keep my activity level the same on a day to day basis.  I have a physically demanding job, and some days it is much more physically demanding than others.  On days that Pyrope has preschool and the weather is nice enough (and really this means that it isn't freezing cold, raining hard, icy, or really windy) I ride my bike 3 miles round trip to drop him off, then 3 miles round trip to pick him up.  On the nights that Jet gets home at a reasonable time, I try to go run a 5k.  Twice a week I take the kids swimming by myself.  Then throw in the Parent & Tot classes of anything from gymnastics to ice skating (depending on current age, interest, and schedule), outings, and random hikes and bike rides, it is rare that I do things the same two DAYS in a row, let alone every day.  And how do I account for the general increase/decrease my body needs of insulin depending if I'm pre/post ovulation?  I know some people that are creatures of habit, they do close to the same thing every day.  The do close to the same thing every day at work.  In some ways it would serve me well to be more of a creature of habit, but I'm not.  I tried for a while, and I was a miserable person who still wasn't great at following the same patterns.   If I didn't have diabetes, doctor's wouldn't care much about this.  But since I do, many doctors and medical professionals put all kinds of negative labels on me.  I'm not a pancreas.  I do my best to think and function like one, but I'm not great at it.  It is maddening to talk in these circles.  Sometimes I think maybe I should "listen" to them and try to be more scheduled.  And then I think, no.  I don't know how to live my life, or if I really could have the life I have now if I had one schedule I had to follow day in and day out.  I couldn't have the current mainly SAHM but work when I need to lifestyle.  I couldn't ride my bike randomly with my kids (where I live it is not an option to do it year round).  I would have to give up running or find a sitter for my kids.  I would have to find a job in a different area of my profession.  I would need my ovaries removed.  For all of the problems I have with my life, I really do like it, and I don't want those types of drastic changes.  So I think I will for the time being continue with the game of talking and disagreeing with my "coach".  Or maybe I'll switch strategies and agree with what she says/suggests, then completely ignore what she said.  The latter being the path of least resistance if I can manage to stomach it.