Standards

Today was the closest I've come to uncontrollably A) losing my temper B) crying or most likely C) both in a long time.  I didn't.  But it was close.  And in many ways I wish I did.

It was back to swimming lesson drama.  Inadvertently, Obsidian was allowed to sign up for swimming lessons at the rec center with Pyrope this past fall.  The first lesson, the usual teacher was away.  The substitute did fine with the kids.  Second lesson comes, normal teacher takes one look at Obsidian and says he can't be in the lessons.  He is too little, then revises it to he is too young.  Substitute teacher winds up coming back for the remainder of the lessons and teaching Obsidian and one other boy that was supposed to be in the class (as his skills were far below everyone else's, including Obsidian's).  I'm told that I can't sign up Obsidian for this teacher's class, but I can try the Saturday morning classes.  Saturday morning classes are much much louder as there are multiple classes going on in the pool at the same time (weekday classes, it is the one class, and a few people doing water exercises, at the most).  First Saturday morning class goes fine.  Second Saturday morning class comes, the kid sitting next to Obsidian on the wall pushes him, and Obsidian winds up in the pool.  There was no harm done, but every time Obsidian is left on the wall with the other kids (next to kid who pushed him in), he cries.  I'm told he is too little and I have to wait until he is 3.5 years old and not any sooner.  That is the policy, they only let him try because of the previous mistake (which I was told would not happen again).  I eventually find a place that will take Obsidian for swim lessons despite his age and size.  It is comically watching him in his class as he is so much smaller, and at least 6 months younger, than anyone else.  He loves his swimming class.  The classes are a similar quality.  But I have to drive 20 minutes instead of 5 and pay twice as much.  Not to mention the fact that I have to take Pyrope to the one set of lessons and Obsidian to another, instead of the 1 trip it would be to the rec center (the lessons are set up differently in that there are a lot of levels where Obsidian is now so they would be in different levels that are not offered at close to the same time, and at the rec center there are less levels so they would be in the same).  But if the rule is not until you are 3.5 years old, it is the rule.  When Obsidian is old enough, I was going to switch back.

Today was the 2nd class in Pyrope's swim lessons.  There was a new little girl in it.  She is 2.5 years old.  Another mom (who knows the Obsidian swim lesson story, as her daughter was in the class this fall) asked.  The teacher (same one who flat out refused to let Obsidian even try with her this fall), said that the little one will try to copy from the big kids, and the big kids will try to help the little one so it will all work out.  I nearly lost it.  This child has a good 4 inches and 5 pounds on Obsidian, but that is it.  She is a cute little thing, and did fine in the class.  She doesn't have as many skills as Obsidian, and is not as used to being in a group as he is, but she did fine.  I was furious.  I wanted to yell at the teacher.  I wanted to cry.  I didn't want to make the situation worse.  I didn't want the mom to think I was mad at her (as I'm not, and we live in a small community, so chances are our paths will cross many times in the years to come).  I stopped and thought.  And decided I was reacting way too emotionally to be constructive.  And then I was thinking more.  I told the two moms that I know that I needed to go for a walk (we aren't supposed to leave the viewing area during swim lessons, but this was too much for me).  I came back and was able to sit through the rest of the lesson.

I've cooled off some.  I'm thinking more clearly.  Tomorrow, I will go to the rec center, without my kids with me.  I'll talk to the aquatic director (who will be there then, but was not today).  I'm not even sure what I'm looking for.  The class is limited to 4 kids.  And with the little one, there is now 4.  This is the last once a week session before summer.  There is one twice a week session left after that, but I was unsure if I was going to do it with Pyrope anyhow.  I don't do swimming lessons during the summer for the kids. 

I have to say something.  As it is wrong.  Obsidian and the little girl are very very similar, apart from size.  I was told Obsidian can not do swimming lessons because of his age and size, not his ability.  This girl proves that it is not his age that is stopping him.  Which leaves his size.  Which is discrimination.  I can not let this just happen.  Even if it doesn't change things for Obsidian, that is not how things should be run.